Damn it all! Why does it go from extreme fatigue to unstoppable insomnia?! I had a really nice dinner with a friend tonight, first time out since Tuesday, but it was cut a bit short because I was so darn tired, as usual lately! Then I got home and fell promptly to sleep, only to be awoken by the conclusion of Olympics opening ceremonies on TV a few hours later. (Glad I DVRd it so I can just watch the highlights.) After poking around a bit online (more on that below), I tried to get back to sleep for an hour or so, but to no avail. Oh well. I’ll catch up here and then hopefully be sufficiently exhausted again!
So, chemo round 3…
Even the nurses agree I am a very lucky girl – it never fails that we are the happiest group in the chemo quarters – or maybe it’s most delirious – I’m not really sure. But there are always plenty of laughs! Thanks to mom joining us as a sea otter, my girlfriends Tina, Tara (and her chocolate merlot frosted cupcakes) and Vanessa, and Nick putting up with us all!
Surprise, surprise – this round was different from the other two. I didn’t feel too sick the next day, but the one after that – yesterday – was worse. The nausea really set in, as did the fatigue. But I am on the up again today and am hoping that was the worst of it and I will be back to 100%, or as close as possible, to get back to work on Monday. I am crossing my fingers as the metallic taste hasn’t set in again yet – and feel like I’m jinxing myself by saying it at all! Overall I know I am lucky to not be feeling even worse and am simply thankful.
So one of the main topics at chemo – mostly after Nick left since it’s among his least favorite topics, especially where I’m concerned – was dating. It just happened that Dana-Farber posted a blog that morning about dating during cancer and therapy. I had been seeing someone, but it just didn’t work, for so many reasons. And I know I need to move on, but wasn’t sure if I really could – again, for so many reasons – but this article has given me the push I guess I need. And the ok to start something new while I’m still in the midst of this crazy ride.
I had sworn off doing the online dating thing again (had been determined to meet someone ‘organically’), but according to the article, it isn’t such a bad idea. So I polled a bunch of friends to find out: do I put it all out there in my profile? Post pics of me then and now? Long brown hair, bald, blond, hats, whatever? Or do I go minimal and then clue the person in just before we meet? Or give it a few dates or what? What IS the dating etiquette when you’re recovering from cancer and, frankly, bald???
Well, as usual, I received a plethora of fabulous advice from all – and on all sides of the debate. So tonight, before turning to write this, I did it: I put myself out there on one of the free dating sites. I did a mix – all pics from this year, many from the last couple weeks, but none so out there (like bald or blonde) that it is overtly obvious. But if someone is observant, they will see there’s no hair peeking out from the hats. If I get a good conversation going, I will probably bring it up before we go out, simply not to waste his time or mine, but for now at least it will be a good distraction. A little flirting never hurt anyone, right? And it’s usually the best push to get you (or at least me) to finally move on…