I should be happy. I should be elated. I should feel better. I got the results of the BRCA genetic test today and it’s negative – no mutations were detected. So I won’t be passing it on to my future granddaughter or nieces, which is the one part I AM overjoyed and infinitely thankful for. And of course I’m glad there’s not the likelihood of ovarian cancer, so I can keep my ovaries. So why am I not jumping for joy?
Because it means I have another damn decision to make. If the genetic test was positive, it would’ve been a double, plain and simple. The decision would be made. And early on I thought it was clear that if it was negative it would be a single. But then I went and spoke to people and read a ton, both discussion boards and other research, and so many people (including doctors and those who’ve been through it) recommend doing both anyway.
Their reasoning? Those who do just one have to be tested every six months. And they go through the worry all over again each time. And put their loved ones through it all over again. And then when there is something detected, it’s more biopsies and pain and stress. And God forbid it does appear in the other breast – it’s everything you’ve just been through repeated. This is not fun and not something I want to do again. And there are the cosmetic reasons too: doing both at once is easier to match and feel better about yourself in that way.
Why do some only do one? Less invasive – avoiding doing a possibly unnecessary surgery. Less pain and recovery time. To keep one natural breast, so you retain the feeling and the opportunity to breast feed if a baby is in your future.
So I don’t know. I’m so sick of options when there isn’t a clear one and none are good. Again, I hate all the options, and again, doing nothing isn’t one of them. Tomorrow is my pre-op so I will talk to my surgeon and see what he thinks. And I’ll also look into things more with my insurance. And I will make a decision. Because I have to.
Amy's America 
Girl. Mine don’t match! One’s a B& one’s a C+!!! I know, not the same. Just trying to provide a little humor for you! 😐 Love you!
Ha! Love it – thanks Shannon!!! 🙂 xo
As long as I’ve known you, you always make the right decisions that best suit your needs — but only after thorough research. 🙂 In this case, each decision has it’s benefits and drawbacks. I know, it sucks! You’re a praying soul and I know that you sometimes seek solace in a force that’s bigger than all your problems and hefty decisions. Whatever the decision, I know that you’ll make the best choice you can for you. Your family and friends will be supporting you (as much as you need, however you need) every step of the way. Hugs, warm thoughts and love to you, my friend.
Hmmm… I think your opinion is a little skewed, my friend, but I definitely try! And I do count on prayer and believe it will help me through… thank you for ALL your love and support and for making me smile! xoxo
Amy I have a friend who has just had both removed. If you wanted to talk to her I am sure she would be happy for me to give you her number. Keep strong. Susan x
Thank you so much Susan – I’m just arranging to talk to a woman here, but will let you know if I still have questions after… xo
Amy, I hope all goes well with the op whatever you decide to do. X
Thank you so much Liz! I am sure it will!!! xo
It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it? I would do both for all the reasons you listed. Cosmetically, I know some women who had a unilateral mastectomy and reconstruction and the results were amazing. At my age I wouldn’t have held out much hope for a perfect matched set, but apparently it can be done 😉
That is an understatement!!! It is completely overwhelming. I think maybe I should try it that way – pretend it’s happening to someone else and think what I would do if it were me – I am always so much better with other people’s stuff! 🙂 And I don’t imagine mine will really match, but it would be nice if it were close!
Honestly some days I’m happy if mine are pointing in the same direction!
Its hard to make choices during times of stress,but remember! You can always have a breast removed later, but once its gone its gone. So I usually encourage patients to have a single if they are undecided.
Thank you – I know you are right, and I know I have a tendancy to both rush into things and to want a ‘final’ decision, rather than to let myself keep going back and forth. But this isn’t something I should rush into or be tough on myself about…