Archive for May, 2017

Life Isn’t Fair

Two years ago – three years after my diagnosis – a friend I had met country line dancing in London (yes, there really is such a thing) reached out to me. I hadn’t seen her since we were both living in London, as I moved back to the US and she moved home to New Zealand. She had been re-reading my entire blog because she, too, had just been told she had breast cancer. And tonight I learned she lost her battle.

I am heartbroken. Chris was such a beautiful, kind soul. Why, why did this have to happen??? We have come so far in oncology. And so much money is poured into breast cancer research. (So much so that some complain that it takes away from other cancer research.) Yet so many people still die from the disease. Even when supposedly caught early, as they had initially thought with Chris. We have to do more and stop this horrible thing called cancer!

I just looked back at the messages we exchanged. I was so stupidly naive, thinking everyone will be as lucky as me, telling her that while it is tough now, it will get better, she will get past it. I truly believed that. But I was wrong. It is not always the case.

I despise these harsh reminders of how precious life is. Can’t we learn to really appreciate each day (and each other) without someone having to die to remind us? Life isn’t fair.

It is an absolute fact: life really isn’t fair – but it is what we make of it. And Chris made the most of it: dancing, traveling, laughing and smiling. Thank you, Chris, for being such a stellar example of living life to its fullest, brimming over with faith and love your whole life through. We will try to remember that, and follow your example. xoxoxo


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