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Archive for the ‘Alone’ Category

Motel help!

People are barbecuing at the motel. In fact, there is a whole row of people hanging out (including no shirt, beer belly guts), leaning on the railing drinking – I think they may actually live here. And they all stared at me as I drove around the corner to my room – thank goodness it’s not near them! (Finally realized what they reminded me of: Toby Keith’s Trailerhood video!)

It’s amazing how different a place seems when you’re alone vs. with someone. When Seth and I stayed here the other night it seemed rundown but fine. I mean, it has free WiFi and a bed – what more do I need? But then when I just checked in solo, there were two young men at the desk. One was overly friendly asking me if I live around here, what I’m doing in this neck of the woods, and then started commenting on my car. He first asked if it was a BMW, then whistled when he heard it was a Volvo. It was the first time I’ve felt really uncomfortable checking in somewhere alone. And it made me wish I was driving a 1997 Mercury Mountaineer – no one would be whistling or even commenting – on that. It would fly below the radar, which is what I want me and my car to do. At least I didn’t buy the Mustang!

I went to my room, and it is definitely worse than the one the other night. In fact, I considered going to my car to get my own toilet paper (yes, I have that in my trunk, too). My grandmother’s voice rang in my head, ‘Don’t forget to check for bedbugs!’

So while I know I really need to budget and stay in cheap places if I’m going to be able to sustain myself for the next few months on the road, I need to balance it with being safe and smart – two things I’m always imploring my son to be. I’m just not sure exactly what else I can do. Any tips? Suggestions?

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Alone

I have never lived alone. I went from living with my parents, to moving out with my baby boy, to being married with a child, to being a single parent with a teenage son. Now my son is going off to college and I will be alone for the first time in my entire life. The mere thought makes my eyes water. Some would call single parenting ‘doing it alone,’ but Nick was always there. From the moment he kicked me from the womb, he has been a force in my life – and the best company. In some ways I think this road trip may be my way of not being home alone. Trying in some way to avoid the reality that there won’t be anyone who needs me at home on a daily basis. That, in fact, there will be no one at home. This road trip may be my denial. But even if it is, it’s also a fresh start. And I’m excited about where it may lead …

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