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Archive for January, 2014

Think and plan

Posted in Boston, Cancer, family, Fundraising, hair, Planning, tagged , , , , , , on January 23, 2014| 4 Comments »

There is never enough time to think or plan. There is always so much going on! When does it ever stop??? I guess that’s what I need to learn: to not let it get that way. To make time to think and plan. Otherwise it will never happen. Of course, we all know what happens to the best laid plans – things like my 2012. But  you can’t let that stop you.

There are such things as over thinking and over planning. I’m constantly coaching my girlfriends (and reminding myself) not to over-analyze things their boyfriend/husband/lover/dream boy does – we’re never going to figure them out, anyway. And sometimes when you over think a decision you end up with the wrong one – sometimes you’ve just got to go with your gut. Over planning is something I can definitely fall into. Nick was telling Cory the other night, “Just wait ’til you go on vacation with her! She’ll plan your every second and have you going so fast, you’ll never be able to catch up! You should’ve seen Gramma and me trying to keep up with her in Rome.” And my mom chimed in, “That’s why we just gave up and went to the pub.” I admit, I was bad on that trip – and I vow to never over plan a vacation like that again!

What I have to be careful of now is to not over plan my life. I am so thankful to have my life and energy to really live it (and my eyebrows, eyelashes and hair on my head), that I’ve had a tendency to say “yes” to most everything, and to try to fit everything in. I’m always going, going, going, when one of the things I vowed less than a month ago was to slow down. (I think I need to print my resolutions and keep them with me to make them actually stick…)

I did pass up a few things this week, like I resisted buying concert tickets to see shows I’ve already seen – I don’t need to see every country show that comes to town! What I didn’t pass up were things that really matter to me:

  1. I signed up for the BAA Distance Medley. That is the BAA 5k in April (two days before the marathon), the BAA 10k in June and the (GULP) half-marathon in October. There it is – I said it in my resolutions and now I have a date to work toward. And boy do I have work to do! I haven’t been running much since I hate the cold, and I found out that they have a mandatory finish time of two and a half hours. That means I will have to cut my 13 minute plus mile down to 11:45. We’ll see… luckily I have connections with a certain running team and trainer who I am sure will give me a few tips…
  2. The second thing that I didn’t pass up actually caused me to tear up. I received an e-mail from Olivia Achtmeyer inviting me to be a model at this October’s Runway for Recovery event! I don’t think I’ve been to a more moving fundraiser than Runway for Recovery 2013. Seeing all those women (and some men) with their families, celebrating the survivors and honoring those they’ve lost, in such a supportive, energetic environment – I can’t even do it justice trying to describe it. Go to the site and check out the  video. And mark your calendars for October 16, 2014 to see me walk (dance, strut, I don’t know – just hopefully not fall!) down the runway at the Revere Hotel in Boston, all to raise money for children who’ve lost their mothers to breast cancer. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate my second year of survivorship.
  3. Finally, I am going to book a flight to Florida for a few days to see my Dad, Maggie, Steve, Kelli and my crazy handsome nephews. I miss them and don’t see them enough. And there’s never enough time or a good time – so sometimes you just have to make time!

These are the kinds of events I’d like to fill my calendar with…

 

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Back to Running, Take 232

Posted in Boston, Cancer, chemotherapy, hair, lymphedema, recovery, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on January 11, 2014| 2 Comments »

I woke up and heard Cory telling his sister on the phone that it was going to be a rainy day. I reached over and grabbed my phone and saw that not only was it not raining yet (only 60% chance at 9 am – yes, I slept until 9), but it was 46 degrees out – woo hoo! Because today is the first day I’m allowed to start running – again.

I’ve had more starts and stops in this short running career since I was inspired by Tara and the Genzyme Running Team to take it up in the late fall of 2011. Ran my first 5k that December (the Jingle Bell Run – so fun!), then found the lump and got the breast cancer diagnosis in March 2012. Surgery quickly followed. No running for a long time. Start back. Chemo. A little running but not much energy to run – then afraid I’d fall with my numb toes and soles of my feet. Lymphedema set in – so glove and sleeve when running from now on until eternity. Then a bit of running, but winter and radiation and the combo was not my favorite – and still little energy and numbness. I ran my first 5k back, the BAA 5k, the day before the Boston Marathon – it was strange that I got to cross the finish line when so many of my friends and family didn’t get to the next day. I worked my way to my first 10k – the BAA 10k, their first event after the marathon. Since then it’s been some running, walking, a stupid fall – and then surgery again. (Oh and winter – which we know I hate to run in the cold.) But now hopefully the last surgery is done and I’m allowed to start running – again.

So back to realizing it was warm (relatively) out. I know me. If I didn’t roll out of bed and get in my running clothes and out the door right then, before the rain, it wasn’t going to happen. And I have new sneakers to break in!

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So I did. And the second after I got outside and snapped that picture of my new sneakers, it started to pour. Of course it did. I thought about going back inside, but thought “Amy, you just posted a picture saying you’re going for a run – you have to run at least a mile.” (Well, run/walk – remember, I do intervals.) Argh. Fine. I turned up my music, turned on Map My Run, tucked my phone in my sleeve and started to run. (Quick side note and shout out to awesome Matt O’Shea for sending me info on how to make Nike+ show my map while running – I remembered the tip halfway through, tried it and it worked! May switch to that app from now on. I like the cheering. 🙂 Thank you! )

Luckily, after about a mile the rain stopped and it just remained… dreary, and at least not cold. And heck, I’d gone a mile – I might as well go another half before turning around, right? Which brought me to Kenmore Square:

20140111-104108.jpgAll the restaurants made me realize I hadn’t eaten anything, so definitely time to turn around. As I was running by a store window I caught a glimpse of myself and realized: it’s the first time I’ve been able to run with a real pony tail!

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Kind of silly, I know, but a milestone that made me smile… And as I ran I had various aches and pains – first my knee, then my hip, then my ankle, and always slight throbbing on the right side of my chest, but all things I can work through. I think my body is just shocked it’s moving again!

I made it back, slowly, but having put the first 3.1 miles on my new sneakers – so basically a 5k. Not bad for the first venture out. It will be a long road to my goal of a half marathon this year, but I know I can do it. And hopefully no more start/stops in the foreseeable future…

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Lisa’s List

Posted in Cancer, chemotherapy, connections, family, hair, lymphedema, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 8, 2014| 1 Comment »

My friend Lisa had her first chemo session at Dana-Farber yesterday. I think I was more nervous for her than I was when I went through it! There was no need, though, as she is one of the bravest, most positive people I know. There is no way she’s going to let this stupid cancer mess with her and her fabulous family. Frankly, cancer chose the wrong woman when it entered her cells.

But because I was nervous, I wanted to make sure I passed all I learned through my experience on to Lisa. Not wanting to forget anything, I made a list (on a bright pink post-it note, of course):

Lisa

  • All different
  • Tired
  • Food tastes
  • Eating/weight
  • Eyelashes
  • American Cancer Society (Wig website/Look Good, Feel Better)
  • Wig fitting
  • Lymphedema (sleeve/massage)
  • Insurance
  • Nails
  • Super B vitamins
  • YOU

Pretty random, huh? That’s the thing – so many of the things that are a big deal in your cancer life, you’d never expect. And there is so much happening, so fast, so much to read and absorb, it’s hard to distill what you really need to know. So during lunch, I ran over to Dana-Farber to sit with Lisa and download what I found to be the most important, like…

  • The all important disclaimer that every single person is different. Everyone’s body reacts differently to things – while my arm would get cold while the poison traveled through the IV into my veins, it didn’t bother Lisa. While I loved having my girlfriends at every chemo session (kind of like Sex and the City / Hospital Episode), she may prefer to be alone or just with her family. I was really lucky and didn’t get as sick as I expected from the chemo, and hopefully Lisa will be the same, although I have friends who didn’t want to do anything but sleep through it.
  • You can’t anticipate if you’ll lose or gain weight. Right after my first chemo, my mouth got the metallic taste and I thought for sure I’d hate food and lose weight (yay!)… but of course that only lasted a couple of days, my taste buds returned and food was what made my nausea go away. So of course I gained more than 20 pounds. But you know what? It didn’t matter! My mantra was “whatever makes me feel better” – which included food and retail therapy. And yes, I’m still losing those last couple pounds and trying to pay the credit card bills, but heck it was worth it, because those things made me feel better.
  • Part of that retail therapy were my many wigs, which I passed on to Lisa yesterday – and encouraged her to let her children play with, to help them get used to the idea. She texted me last night that her youngest put on her Little Mermaid dress with the red wig – love it!!!
  • Along with the bald head, I reminded her that EVERY hair on her body will fall out – not just those on her head. I encouraged her to relish the time that she doesn’t have to shave, as it will be back before she knows it. And I also warned her of what was most traumatic for me: losing not my eyebrows but my eyelashes… I was so happy the day they started growing back!
  • Yes, the stupid cancer can do a number on your self-esteem, but it’s so great that there are programs out there like the American Cancer Society’s Look Good, Feel Better program that not only teaches you how to apply your makeup (including creating eyebrows after yours disappear), but gives you a fabulous bag of goodies! A must to take advantage of.

I could’ve gone on and on, but knew I could never tell her everything, and didn’t want to overwhelm her, especially during that first chemo session. (Luckily, Lisa is happily married, or I’d have had to give all my “single cancer girl” tips, too! 😉 ) Really, everyone who goes through it has a different experience, and all we can do is pass on our experiences, hope the tips help you not feel like you’re the only one going through this and reduce the surprise of things people didn’t warn you about. And that’s the number one thingto remember: it’s all about you.

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