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Archive for the ‘Dating’ Category

Getting back on track (mentally and physically) via Oklahoma’s Route 66 on Day 32

Posted in Alone, Country, Dating, Home, Planning, Road trip, Uncategorized on October 11, 2010| 2 Comments »

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For more reasons than I can list – or even understand myself – I haven’t been able to really write much for the last week, other than the couple of times I absolutely forced myself and had something concrete to say. That hasn’t been enough for some of my faithful readers, and I apologize. Several of you have written or called to ask what’s going on and one of those readers – my dad – told me straight out last night that it wasn’t fair to those who check in on my blog daily. He reminded me that everything (everyone) has ups and downs and if this is going to be authentic, I should include it all. Well, I think ALL might be going a bit far (maybe in the book – we’ll see…) but I did scribble some things in my notebook this week (as did Lilly, Jason’s youngest daughter, but I can still read my words through the crayon), especially yesterday, so the following is some of that to fill you in. And for those who really just want the travel stuff, skip to the Arcadia, Day 32 section, and check out the Oklahoma Route 66 pics above. And thanks, Dad…

(Day 30, on way back to Holdenville from Oklahoma City and Choctaw) Live, Laugh, Love. Sitting at a stoplight in the middle of Oklahoma, feeling a little bit sorry for myself, I glanced to my left. There it was. ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ – the name of the store next to me. It happened to be the last thing I saw in my aunt and uncle’s house as I left tonight, too. It was on a small plaque hanging over their dining room table: ‘Live, Laugh, Love.’ Those also were the words I wrote in my high school yearbook nearly 20 years ago. I’ve always tried to live by that saying. Why am I having such a hard time doing it now? Part of me came to Oklahoma to do more than just catch up with friends and family. I think deep down I was looking and hoping for more, only for so very many reasons it didn’t turn out that way and now I’m feeling a little lost about what to do and where to go next. What I did do in Oklahoma was renew a couple of old friendships and made some new ones – including the four most wonderful new little friends a girl could ask for! Now I need to find a way to be a good example for them and demonstrate that favorite saying of mine: Live, Laugh, Love…

(At the football field, Day 31) Life in a small town. Everybody knows everybody. Everybody knows everybody’s business. Everybody knows everybody’s family – or is part of their family, in one way or another. There’s history and rivalry, love and feuds. The boy plays football on the same field as his dad played, and his father before him.  There’s something special about walking the same streets as your ancestors – it’s like they’re always with you. I have moved more times than I can count. When I was young we lived at the family farm with my grandparents. I loved it so much. Years after it was sold, I did exactly as Miranda Lambert does in her song ‘The House that Built Me’ and went and knocked on the door. But the people had changed it so much that the feeling I was looking for just wasn’t there anymore. It led me to the conclusion that it’s not the place, it’s the people. Home is where your family is. If they’ve all stayed in one place for generations, it’s much easier to find and go home again…

(On the road, Day 32) I’m leaving. I won’t stay anywhere this long again. You get too into the family and daily life and it’s too hard to leave. You also worry that you’re messing up their normal routine and feel like you’re in the way. A few days anywhere is more than enough. Honestly, I feel more lost than ever. And a bit jealous of the family life and stability – and the hugs from little ones, especially now that mine is grown and away at school. (Need to get back to my goddaughters – Tina, thank you again for sharing!!!) I just don’t know where I  belong, and hate the feeling of not being needed somewhere – I’ve just never not had somewhere to be or someone to help…

I guess I’m getting more than I bargained for on this road trip. I’m learning a lot about myself, more than I am about geography (since I leave most of that to Aidan). Or is this really what I set out to do? If it is, I’m crazy – think I might be happier going back to my mile-a-minute, always busy, chaotic life. Sometimes it’s better not to have so much thinking time. There’s too much of that alone on the road! So what is my latest lesson? Well, I’ve always prided myself on being this strong, independent woman, who doesn’t need a man, never wants to marry again, hates depending on anyone, blah, blah, blah. I think having Nick has been a shield, in a way. As long as I had him at home, needing me, I really didn’t need anything (or anyone) else. I won’t go as far to say I actually need someone, but I will say it would be nice to have a partner in crime. But not just anyone…

(Arcadia, OK, Route 66, Day 32) Okay, I feel a bit better. It’s amazing what a dose of family and laughter can do! I just met my aunt and uncle at Pops, a great (fairly new) gas station/hamburger joint/gift shop, right on Route 66 by the Old Round Barn and the Biker’s Shak in Arcadia. They have a zillion (well, more than 400) different types of soda pop, and the thickest shakes I’ve ever had – it’s basically like trying to drink ice cream. Lunch with them at such a fun venue was just what I needed to kick off the next leg of my road trip.

A bit about Oklahoma as I make my way out of the state:

  • It is the home of several country music stars including Toby Keith, Garth Brooks, Blake Shelton and Carrie Underwood.
  • While Oklahoma has the longest drivable stretch of the original Route 66 of any state, it is not at all easy to follow. You’ll be driving and it will just disappear – a few times I hopped on the highway and caught back up with it further west. If you’re ever going to really try to stick solely with Route 66, make sure you map out your journey ahead of time on the computer because most maps and GPS’s aren’t very helpful…
  • The shopping cart was invented in Oklahoma. (Didn’t know that, did you? Ah, the things you learn by reading billboards.)

The sky suddenly got very dark and there’s major lightning in the distance. Which leads me to think that it’s not always good to listen to satellite radio – you don’t get the local weather and warnings. I’m wondering exactly what you’re supposed to do if you’re driving and you just see a tornado coming at you? Maybe I should find out, and maybe I should start listening to local radio stations…

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Day 16 – NYC and the meat market in the Meat Packing District

Posted in Dating, London, Road trip on September 25, 2010| Leave a Comment »

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Luckily, I had the foresight to take notes yesterday since I was guessing – and rightly so – that I’d wake up this morning brain-dead. And I am. I’m happy I can still type. My head hurts (although not out-and-out pounding like yesterday.) So where am I and how did I get here?

Well, after I posted the blog (take 2) yesterday morning, I went to the Nashville airport. Thank goodness for Aidan! And I think whoever was watching over me the night before was still with me in the morning because as I was driving and my head kept pounding, I was zoning out, having to force myself to pay attention to both Aidan and the road – it wasn’t easy! Just glad the airport was only 10 minutes from the hotel. I did have to grin, though, when I got in the car and Kenny Chesney’s Out Last Night was just starting. Can’t think of a more perfect song to describe our evening!

I’m sure I’m telling you something you already know, but everything is so much louder and more difficult when you’re hung over. I just don’t drink much – virtually at all pre-London so I seem to forget the hang over feeling. The problem is I was flying to New York City to meet other London girlfriends for a party weekend. I wasn’t sure I could take it. But for my dear friends…

Tamara, from my London book/wine club, is getting married – woo hoo! (Well, kinda – they are actually already legally married, but now are going to do it in front of family and close friends, wedding dress and all.)  So she and Kris (hubby) are having a pre-wedding weekend of festivities with friends in the city. I’m bunking with Jamie, thanks to Steve, her husband, not being able to come. Both thank you and sorry, Steve! (It’s the nicest hotel I’ve stayed in yet – and no bed bugs, Gram!) It began last night – we all met at the Beirgarten at The Standard Hotel, then split into guys and girls.  

Coating our stomachs was a must, so we went to have tapas  (and lots and lots of sangria) at what is supposedly the first Spanish restaurant in the city. Everything was delicious – and there was way more food than the 15 of us could eat. They even had some interesting shaped food that Tamara made the most of. (You’ll know what I mean when you look at the pictures above…) This was Tamara’s third bachelorette party (I’ll never forget our London Dolly Parton night – still have the blonde wig) so we didn’t torture her too much.

From there we went to our reserved section of The Brass Monkey. Funny thing was that there were girls sitting in our area when we got there and as we kicked them out I invited them to join us to celebrate Tamara’s wedding and one of them was also getting married. She had just bought her reception dress and showed us – beautiful! Instant girl bonding at its best.

The Brass Monkey really was a meat market in the Meat Packing District. The music was pounding (and funny enough, while I was drinking my head wasn’t), the drinks were flowing and the men were moving in for the kill. Couldn’t seem to get rid of this Australian and this other mumbling guy. No matter what was said to deter them – even one of Tamara’s friends looking them in the face and saying “No. Go away.” Mostly there was the younger crowd – seemed most of the guys who ended up at our table were in their early 20s. (Uh, no – my son is practically your age!) So we used them to take pictures of us and then went back to our drinking and dancing. And then our feet started crying (the dogs are barking, one of the girls said), so we knew it was time to go…

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A date in every state?

Posted in Dating on June 13, 2010| 2 Comments »

I guess I’m a little delayed, or maybe it’s bad timing. Or is it? With just six weeks left in London I decided to start dating. I guess I just wasn’t ready before. ‘You’ve been there for two years, shouldn’t you have started before now?’ asked one friend. ‘What took you so long?’ Well, for the first year I had a fiance back home. And then it took a while to even want to be back in the dating scene.

So last week I went to the movies with one of my girlfriends and she mentioned that she had two dates that weekend. I was quite impressed and asked her how she managed it. Online, of course, and she named the two web sites.

I’m no stranger to online dating – that’s how I met my ex-fiance (and how I ended up on the worst date in the world, beginning with a meeting at Plymouth Rock, but that’s a story for another time). And several of my friends are on multiple dating sites. Kristen is even writing a book based on all her bad dates – that will be a best seller for sure! Anyway, as fun and easy as it is, I just wasn’t sure I should try it again, especially with such little time left in this country.

But, ah, the power of advertising: everywhere I went, particularly on the tube (subway for my American friends), I kept seeing the same ad for Lovestruck London. ‘Free for lunch? Free for coffee? Meet someone today!’ It sounded so informal, not like the lifetime commitment of eharmony or Match. And I love the idea of something being spur of the moment, rather than email for weeks, talk for a while longer and then finally meet, only to find there’s no chemistry so you wasted all those hours. What would I lose over a bad lunch date? An hour? I think I can spare that.

I caved – I’m back online. I was completely upfront in my profile and said I only have a few weeks left, but want to make the most of it. Who wants to show me their favorite parts of London before I head back to the US? I’ve already had a few dates. And they’ve been fun. I’m smiling – and they seem to be too. All in all I think it was a good idea, almost wish I’d done it sooner.

So I told Tina about this and she came up with a new idea: what about doing similar on the road trip? How about A Date in Every State? The waiter/actor in California, the rancher in Texas, the stockbroker in New York, the possibilities are endless. We spent forever on the phone laughing, planning and plotting.

But I’m not sure it’s for me.  I think it may be too gimmicky. I don’t want to do anything like try to hit every state or visit every shrine to this, that or the other thing. I really just want to go where I feel like going. I’m also no Carrie Bradshaw. I’m not sure I could – correction: not sure I would want to – dish intimate details about every encounter with the opposite sex. While it may make some good reading, I’m not ready to be THAT much of an open book.

Don’t get me wrong. If I run into my dream guitar playing, black hat and white t-shirt wearing cowboy, I’m happy to have a date on the road. But it has to just happen. I don’t want to be setting up dates in every state and have some strict itinerary that limits my adventure. So while you had a great idea T, I think I have to pass on it. Maybe one of my other single friends wants to give it a try?

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