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Getting my kicks on Route 66 in Texas – Day 33

Posted in Country, Home, London, Road trip on October 12, 2010| 4 Comments »

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I woke up on Day 33 in Shamrock, Texas – and as one of my friends pointed out, that must be a lucky town. I think it is, because I had a really good day. Travelling Route 66 is a photographers dream (when you can find the route, of course). So I’ll pretty much let the pictures above do the talking for today, other than a few random thoughts I recorded on the road:

  • For awhile I felt like I was in the movie Cars – in fact, the first couple of pictures (night and day) are of the Tower Station and U-Drop Inn which was featured in the movie.
  • I must be a bit more careful – was playing it a bit too close with gas in the middle of nowhere Rt. 66. You have no idea how excited I was to see an actual working gas station – you’ll see pictures of many of the deserted ones I encountered along the way!
  • I learned a lot about the Dust Bowl (such a sad time) and barbed wire (yes, barbed wire) at the Devil’s Rope and Rt. 66 Museum in McLean, Texas. Neat little free stop if you are ever out that way.
  • Saw signs for the Largest Cross in the Western Hemisphere and wondered why, if it’s so large, do you need signs? Wouldn’t you just see it? And then I did. It is amazing (and right around the corner from Blessed Mary’s restaurant which boasts ‘Burgers/More’ with the more part being Truth, Faith, Hope, Love. I would’ve eaten there but it looked closed. Oh well.) Full disclosure: it may advertise itself as the largest, but I guess someone recently built a copy of it a tiny bit bigger in Illinois (I think). But it’s still very cool.
  • For awhile I felt like I was the only person traveling on Route 66. I really thought it would be busier with tourists or whatever.
  • I saw actual, real tumbleweeds (remember the play, Walpole people?) and a mini dust storm. Now this feels like Texas.
  • I don’t think my windshield is ever going to be truly clean again.
  • I love the Amarillo Travelodge! It’s cheap, clean, has free wifi, free breakfast and best of all: free use of Gold’s Gym next door! I had a great workout. Really made my night. (In addition to my emails from London, check-ins from friends, seeing the Patriots’ sign and cool photo stops on Route 66, of course!)

So I’m not really sure what drew me to Amarillo, but it was a good stop along the way. It has a very cool section of Route 66 with a bunch of antique and specialty shops and eateries. Too bad it was a Monday and deserted. If only every day could be a bustling weekend!

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Getting back on track (mentally and physically) via Oklahoma’s Route 66 on Day 32

Posted in Alone, Country, Dating, Home, Planning, Road trip, Uncategorized on October 11, 2010| 2 Comments »

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For more reasons than I can list – or even understand myself – I haven’t been able to really write much for the last week, other than the couple of times I absolutely forced myself and had something concrete to say. That hasn’t been enough for some of my faithful readers, and I apologize. Several of you have written or called to ask what’s going on and one of those readers – my dad – told me straight out last night that it wasn’t fair to those who check in on my blog daily. He reminded me that everything (everyone) has ups and downs and if this is going to be authentic, I should include it all. Well, I think ALL might be going a bit far (maybe in the book – we’ll see…) but I did scribble some things in my notebook this week (as did Lilly, Jason’s youngest daughter, but I can still read my words through the crayon), especially yesterday, so the following is some of that to fill you in. And for those who really just want the travel stuff, skip to the Arcadia, Day 32 section, and check out the Oklahoma Route 66 pics above. And thanks, Dad…

(Day 30, on way back to Holdenville from Oklahoma City and Choctaw) Live, Laugh, Love. Sitting at a stoplight in the middle of Oklahoma, feeling a little bit sorry for myself, I glanced to my left. There it was. ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ – the name of the store next to me. It happened to be the last thing I saw in my aunt and uncle’s house as I left tonight, too. It was on a small plaque hanging over their dining room table: ‘Live, Laugh, Love.’ Those also were the words I wrote in my high school yearbook nearly 20 years ago. I’ve always tried to live by that saying. Why am I having such a hard time doing it now? Part of me came to Oklahoma to do more than just catch up with friends and family. I think deep down I was looking and hoping for more, only for so very many reasons it didn’t turn out that way and now I’m feeling a little lost about what to do and where to go next. What I did do in Oklahoma was renew a couple of old friendships and made some new ones – including the four most wonderful new little friends a girl could ask for! Now I need to find a way to be a good example for them and demonstrate that favorite saying of mine: Live, Laugh, Love…

(At the football field, Day 31) Life in a small town. Everybody knows everybody. Everybody knows everybody’s business. Everybody knows everybody’s family – or is part of their family, in one way or another. There’s history and rivalry, love and feuds. The boy plays football on the same field as his dad played, and his father before him.  There’s something special about walking the same streets as your ancestors – it’s like they’re always with you. I have moved more times than I can count. When I was young we lived at the family farm with my grandparents. I loved it so much. Years after it was sold, I did exactly as Miranda Lambert does in her song ‘The House that Built Me’ and went and knocked on the door. But the people had changed it so much that the feeling I was looking for just wasn’t there anymore. It led me to the conclusion that it’s not the place, it’s the people. Home is where your family is. If they’ve all stayed in one place for generations, it’s much easier to find and go home again…

(On the road, Day 32) I’m leaving. I won’t stay anywhere this long again. You get too into the family and daily life and it’s too hard to leave. You also worry that you’re messing up their normal routine and feel like you’re in the way. A few days anywhere is more than enough. Honestly, I feel more lost than ever. And a bit jealous of the family life and stability – and the hugs from little ones, especially now that mine is grown and away at school. (Need to get back to my goddaughters – Tina, thank you again for sharing!!!) I just don’t know where I  belong, and hate the feeling of not being needed somewhere – I’ve just never not had somewhere to be or someone to help…

I guess I’m getting more than I bargained for on this road trip. I’m learning a lot about myself, more than I am about geography (since I leave most of that to Aidan). Or is this really what I set out to do? If it is, I’m crazy – think I might be happier going back to my mile-a-minute, always busy, chaotic life. Sometimes it’s better not to have so much thinking time. There’s too much of that alone on the road! So what is my latest lesson? Well, I’ve always prided myself on being this strong, independent woman, who doesn’t need a man, never wants to marry again, hates depending on anyone, blah, blah, blah. I think having Nick has been a shield, in a way. As long as I had him at home, needing me, I really didn’t need anything (or anyone) else. I won’t go as far to say I actually need someone, but I will say it would be nice to have a partner in crime. But not just anyone…

(Arcadia, OK, Route 66, Day 32) Okay, I feel a bit better. It’s amazing what a dose of family and laughter can do! I just met my aunt and uncle at Pops, a great (fairly new) gas station/hamburger joint/gift shop, right on Route 66 by the Old Round Barn and the Biker’s Shak in Arcadia. They have a zillion (well, more than 400) different types of soda pop, and the thickest shakes I’ve ever had – it’s basically like trying to drink ice cream. Lunch with them at such a fun venue was just what I needed to kick off the next leg of my road trip.

A bit about Oklahoma as I make my way out of the state:

  • It is the home of several country music stars including Toby Keith, Garth Brooks, Blake Shelton and Carrie Underwood.
  • While Oklahoma has the longest drivable stretch of the original Route 66 of any state, it is not at all easy to follow. You’ll be driving and it will just disappear – a few times I hopped on the highway and caught back up with it further west. If you’re ever going to really try to stick solely with Route 66, make sure you map out your journey ahead of time on the computer because most maps and GPS’s aren’t very helpful…
  • The shopping cart was invented in Oklahoma. (Didn’t know that, did you? Ah, the things you learn by reading billboards.)

The sky suddenly got very dark and there’s major lightning in the distance. Which leads me to think that it’s not always good to listen to satellite radio – you don’t get the local weather and warnings. I’m wondering exactly what you’re supposed to do if you’re driving and you just see a tornado coming at you? Maybe I should find out, and maybe I should start listening to local radio stations…

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September 26, 2010 – Where did 19 years go?

Posted in Alone, Home, London, Road trip on September 26, 2010| Leave a Comment »

I have to pause my regular blog updates to mark a milestone: my son’s 19th birthday. (Don’t worry – I’ll still fill you in on Day 17, but that will be a bit later.) Nick is a huge reason for my being on this road trip. Actually, he’s the reason for nearly every aspect of my life.

I got pregnant when I was 16. I hid it for the longest time and was in such denial that it was happening that I practically hid it from myself. With my closest friends I considered all my options, but never made any moves to do anything about it. In fact, it was someone else who told my mother: when I was six months pregnant she got a card in the mail with a beautiful beach scene on the cover and inside it said in big, red block letters: AMY IS PREGNANT. To this day we don’t know who sent it. But it was the biggest relief because we could then all face it together and my mom gave me the strength and inspiration to become a mother myself.

I gave birth to Nick in September of my senior year of high school. I was scared to death, but the second I held that little boy in my arms I was in love. I have thanked God every single day since for blessing me with Nicholas George. And I have prayed every day that he will be happy and healthy and safe and smart. For all of these years I have had a good deal of control over that, helping him, protecting him, seeing him nearly every day. But now he’s (in the eyes of the law) a grown up. He lives away at college. I am lucky when he returns my texts or calls. And his reliance on me is more emotional – I’m here for him any time he needs me, wants to talk, anything – and, of course, financial. I know he is strong and smart and independant. I am so proud of him, and know he’ll thrive and succeed at anything he puts his mind to, as long as he’s willing to work hard to make it happen. But…

It is so hard letting go. One of the things I wrote in a diary to him when he was born was how he was my new best friend and how happy I was that we had each other and I’d never be alone. I certainly wasn’t thinking about him growing up and moving out! The time passed too quickly, where did these 19 years go??? But I am so thankful for all our special times, our adventures, our time together in London. And I know we’ll still have those – he’s already got me signed up for family vacations with him, Alivia and my future grandchildren (hopefully way in the future) – but I know it will never be just him and me again, and that’s what’s so hard to let go of. And one of the main reasons for this road trip.

As I mentioned at the very beginning of the blog, I do believe this road trip is in part my denial of being left at home, alone. I moved out of my parents house into an apartment with baby Nicky. I’ve never lived alone in my entire life. I’m not even sure what the heck to do with any down time. Add to that no longer having my job (where I was quite the workaholic) or a fiance (broke up when I was in England) and selling my house (so no desire to remodel or redecorate), there didn’t seem to be anything (or anyone) needing me at home.

The road trip is definitely doing it’s job. I have been so on the go nearly every waking minute of the last 17 days that I really haven’t had time to think or realize (or face) all the major changes in my life. But today when the clock struck midnight, the tears started flowing. I called Nick and left him a message, and one on facebook too. Luckily, perfect timing, an old friend called right at that moment and cheered me up. 

So yes, I do know that at some point I will have to face all those things, but for now I am thankful I have this road trip so I can face them bit by bit. And I am so very, very thankful for every moment of the last 19 years and for the most wonderful son in the world. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and you, Nick, are the very best thing that’s ever happened to me.

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