Amy's America

I am an optimist. I always try to see the silver lining. While I may get a bit sarcastic at times, I try to stay away from the negative. But I can’t help feeling like someone is truly testing me. And starting to wonder what did I do? Why me?

I had a great weekend – really looking forward to my trip Thursday (see last post) to celebrate finally finishing the majority of treatment, had nice lunch with Alicia, great girl’s night sleepover with Tina and my Goddaughters, fun mani/pedi with Tara. Finally getting over my cold and sore throat. Even fit in a run and got my FitbitOne up and started before settling down in front of the TV with my laptop last night. On the right track!

And then I woke up this morning. It started as a slight pain as I got out of bed. I took a few steps to the bathroom, bent a little for my toothbrush and BAM! Shooting pain across my lower back, blinding, and sudden sweats – I thought I was going to pass out. I slowly made my way to my bed because every step hurt, and gingerly lowered myself.

Flashback to 12 years ago: A few weeks after my last miscarriage, I simply bent to pick up an empty laundry basket when I had a very similar episode, only it was worse: I couldn’t straighten from that position. The slightest movement made me want to scream with pain. With that, I ended up being out of work for over a month. Lots of rest, meds and PT.

Today was not that bad. I can move some. I can lay, propped up with my laptop and be in only minimal pain. Long story short, I went to the doctor this afternoon and his hope is that it is muscular. He gave me meds, said to rest, and offered a wheelchair for Florida. He believes it will be better by the end of the trip, as long as I take it easy. And if it’s not, then I will go back and we’ll do some tests.

So I guess I’m just a bit frustrated. I feel like anything I plan, something happens. Out of the blue, no rhyme or reason. Yes, I’m still going, but I don’t think I’ll be running around like I wanted to – or, literally going for runs in the sun, as I was really looking forward to! And dancing late into the night…

It will still be wonderful. I will be with my family and friends. And it will be warm. It will be all good. And maybe with lots of prayer (please everyone?) and rest (I don’t think I’ll be leaving my apartment before heading to the airport), I will be better in time to truly make the most of at least the majority of the trip… I guess some things only time will tell…

Interesting note: As I mentioned, I started my FitbitOne yesterday and I logged 7,816 steps, even with not having it on for the first part of my day. Today, I’ve worn it all day, including to the doctor, and logged a grand total of 608 steps. Yup. Haven’t gone far. I think the FitBitOne is being put away until after vacation and when my back is better I will try again…