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Archive for the ‘Cancer’ Category

Instant Lifetime Hypochondriac

Posted in Boston, Cancer, recovery, tagged , , , , on April 15, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Today is my check-up with my oncologist. Driving here – the whole two miles – I was biting my nails (sorry mom) and tense, and of course what comes on the radio? Tim McGraw’s Live Like You Were Dying. I’m already on the verge of tears with the anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing, I really don’t need this, too. Not sure why I didn’t make the connection when I confirmed the appointment…

Nonetheless, I’m here now. I’ll be able to tell Dr. M about all my aches, pains, side effects and symptoms, all of which are constant dull voices in the back of my head, saying, “it’s back…” I know I’m crazy, I know most of its nothing, and I know the simple blood tests and physical that are being done today will not be able to tell if a secondary or other cancer is lurking within me. No full body scans or other tests to say for sure I am cancer free. I know that is for my own good, with all the false positives and questionable images. And I know that even after talking to Dr. M the voices will linger. But I also know I will feel a bit better having shared all my worries and hearing her tell me not to worry.

I guess one cancer makes you an instant lifetime hypochondriac.

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Shout or whisper: It’s another ‘N’ word

Posted in Boston, Cancer, chemotherapy, Decisions, Discovery, hair, Planning, radiation, recovery, tagged , , , , , , , , , on March 18, 2014| Leave a Comment »

I don’t know why, but I’m suddenly feeling shy and hesitant to post certain things. I got the best news in a long time this afternoon and wanted to tell every stranger I walked by that (spoiler alert) I can now get nipples, but as soon as I got home and thought about updating this blog, I got nervous. Then I saw on Facebook “Duke Porn Star on What People Don’t Understand About Sex at Work” and I thought, “Jeesh, if she can talk about that, I can talk about nipples!”

I found the first lump on March 14, 2012 and this Thursday will be exactly two years from the day I received the call informing me that I had cancer. This is, and I think will always be, a tough week for me. But Tara and I often talk about rewriting memories and maybe getting this news puts a new, happier anniversary on my calendar.

Today I went for my follow-up with Dr. H, my super fabulous reconstructive surgeon. As Cory pointed out to me today, I’ve been worrying about this visit for weeks. Even though I’d been told that the right one would heal differently due to the radiation, I wasn’t sure that the way it was healing differently was the right differently. I’ve thought over and over about friends who have had trouble with their implants – one who said it was like a baseball, another who just had it replaced for the third time – for a total of five surgeries in the last 11 months!

So as Dr. H inspected it with his normal dead-pan expression – he must be a great poker player – I mentioned nervously some of the things I’d observed, like some of the scarring being hard in places, and an end that just didn’t seem as healed as the rest, and I asked if it was healing normally or if it was worse. His response? “It’s healing abnormally well!” He explained that it’s actually better than he expected and really as good as we could hope for a radiated breast. Phew!

So then I asked the question I’ve been waiting to ask since the April 30, 2012, when I lost my breasts: “Can I make the appointment to get 3D nipple tattoos?” Dr. H smiled, nodded, and replied, “Yes, you certainly can.” Woo hoo!!! I also found out that I don’t need to go all the way to Maryland for them (although Vinnie appears to be the Michelangelo of areola tattoos and amongst the pioneers of 3D nipple tattoos). Dr. H recommended Juli Moon right down the road in Lynn, assured me he’s never heard anything but good things, and showed me her portfolio.

Needless to say, I called as soon as I got in the door, before I even got my coat off. I didn’t make the appointment yet as I need to check some things with my schedule, but it looks like in early May I will feel just that much more normal again…

And for some of my friends who are just in the beginning stages of this journey – recently diagnosed, just finished surgery, in chemo or radiation – it may feel like forever, but that will be over soon! You’ll be through treatment, your hair will grow back, you’ll regain your strength and so much of your life. It will be your new normal. And it will be wonderful, and you will be stronger for all you’ve been through! And this is all for you! I wouldn’t be on here talking about nipples if I didn’t think it would help answer some of your questions and ease your road ahead! xoxoxo

 

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A short rant: How dare you, Avon?

Posted in Boston, Cancer, Fundraising, tagged , , , , on March 17, 2014| 2 Comments »

I was always taught if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all. I also really hate to bad mouth a company, especially one that has a strong charitable giving arm. But this has been bothering me for weeks and I’m sick of it. And I think you need to speak out when you truly believe something is wrong.

Nearly every day while driving my very short route to work I hear the same commercial: Avon’s Walk for Breast Cancer. And it makes me want to scream. In fact, when I hear the ending, I sometimes do scream back at the radio. (Yup, people probably think I’m crazy – or that I’m on blue tooth.) I’m sure you’ve heard it. Because it’s on so often, it’s possible you just tune it out and haven’t really listened to what they’re saying. Well, let me share: the last line is “Will you walk, or will you walk away?”

That’s when my blood boils. How DARE Avon accuse people of turning their head from breast cancer just because they don’t sign up for their walk??? I think their walk is great, I am glad they do it, I simply choose not to participate because I only want to do one major thing per year where I beg people for financial support – I don’t think it’s fair to solicit your friends year-round. And I choose to do the Jimmy Fund Boston Marathon Walk for a million reasons including the fact that Dana-Farber provide me and my friends such fabulous care and that the money supports multiple types of cancer research and treatment. And especially because it was one of my dear friend’s ideas to have a team.

So I think it’s great that Avon has their walk and does so much for breast cancer. But don’t use guilt advertising! I don’t go for guilt in religion, in life or in advertising. In fact, it makes me want to do the opposite; it completely turns me off. So do as you do in the TV version, Avon. Leave that line off your radio commercials. It’s not helping your cause, which happens to be one of mine, even if I don’t do your walk.

 

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