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Archive for the ‘Discovery’ Category

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Phil was right – you can do anything once. So I did get through the last round, at least so far. I am not feeling great, but not horrid either, and for that I am very thankful! After feeling similar last time and then crashing later, I am taking it easy and being cautious.

I did smile for real once the chemo party got started, as you can see in the pics. Not only did we celebrate the last of the worst chemo cocktail, we celebrated Vanessa’s birthday with a yummy cake made by Tara. And while he’s not in the pictures because he had to leave a bit early, Nick was with us for the first part of our celebration, too – I couldn’t ask for a more loving, supportive son. I am very lucky.

And yes, also as you can see from the pictures, I tried embracing the blonde a bit to see if I could get used to it. Not exactly my favorite, but I will be happy with my real hair no matter how it grows in! Just to have my own again will be so nice! I got encouraging news, both from my oncologist, who said hair grows in rounds, so some parts will grow at certain times, and then other parts at other times, and then from a fellow cancer survivor who said that her hair began growing in between rounds 3 and 4 of A/C and through Taxol, and is now up to 2″ – so maybe I will stop having Nick shave my head and see what happens… maybe I will have some hair before the end of the year!

I also got my new schedule: I have three weeks off and will start Taxol once a week for 12 weeks on Tuesday, September 4. Then I will be able to work every Monday, have treatment Tuesday, and hopefully be able to work Wed – Fri each week – at least Thurs and Fri – but we’ll see how it goes… Then I should have my last one Nov. 20 and will truly have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving!!!

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Blonde

I am in shock. Just now, at the Mass Pike rest stop on the way home from Western Mass, I looked in the bathroom mirror and realized the hair growing (in random patches- don’t get too excited for me) on my head is BLONDE. My jaw dropped and Tara, a few sinks away, looked at me inquisitively and said, “You look perplexed – what’s up?”

“Is it me or the light in here or is my hair really growing in blonde?” I asked.

“I noticed that yesterday,” she confirmed, “You do have the genes for it.”

“But I don’t think I want to be blonde!” I whined (even though I can’t stand whining.)

“That, my dear, is the beauty of being a woman,” Tara declared. “You can dye it any color you want! Besides, maybe it’s the peach fuzz like when babies are born, and it will change …”

I was born with a full head of dark brown hair. And I love(d) being a brunette. I am hoping I will be again, but if I am not, I will not dye it. Just like when my hair was starting to go grey, I was letting it. So if I end up blonde, I guess I will just channel my inner Marilyn … maybe not all the time, but certainly when I want to have fun! 🙂

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It’s happening and it sucks. I woke up this morning and when I finally fully opened my eyes in front of the bathroom mirror I saw that strands of my short brown hair covered the white t-shirt I slept in. Then I got in the shower and it was just like after you get a haircut and you have to wash off the little hairs. Only a zillion times worse ’cause it wouldn’t stop. Every time I touched my head my hand would be covered in hair. I finally gave up, turned off the shower and cleaned the very clogged drain. Who would’ve thought short hairs could make such a big pile?

So I had to pick out clothes that hopefully will camouflage hairs that fall out on them while at work today, and tonight I will shave my head- or I should say, have my head shaved. I don’t want to, but once again I’m forced to choose the better of two evils. Keep fighting the inevitable and have to handle the annoyance and embarrassment of my hair steadily falling out or just rip the band aid off quickly. Better to get it over with and start wearing hats and wigs… ugh.

p.s. sorry to those who tried to read this earlier – I posted it via my phone on the way to work and must have that default to password protected…

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