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Posts Tagged ‘work’

Change the World

Last Thursday I spent the day with 10,000 women. (A dream for the few vendors lucky enough to have a table, and yes, very long bathroom lines.) I’ve always wanted to go to this conference – The Massachusetts Conference for Women. I knew it would be a day of learning, female camaraderie and, most of all, inspiration. It was all that and more. Cory asked me that night what my favorite part was and I was stumped. “Ooooh, that’s hard,” I said, “all of it!” And when Tara and I were comparing notes after – since we decided to divide and conquer some of the sessions – I looked at her, shook my head and said, “Well, now we just need to figure out how we’re going to change the world for the better.” That’s how you feel when you leave an incredible conference like that.

Those of you who follow me on Twitter or are friends with me on Facebook know I was posting quotes throughout the day. (If you missed it and need some inspiring words of wisdom, go back to December 5 on my Twitter feed.) What has stuck with me more than any other was not any of the people or sessions that I went there to see, but a surprise last minute addition: Nobel Peace Prize winner Leymah Gbowee. She is a Liberian peace activist, trained social worker and women’s rights advocate. She told us in a very straight, matter-of-fact manner, as if we were a bunch of girls gathered for afternoon tea and catching up, how she helped to bring together Christian and Muslim women to help end Liberia’s Civil War in 2003 – when she was just 31. Over and over in my head I keep hearing her saying the words, “exploit your collective power.” Basically, she was saying – much more eloquently – hey, you! If you believe in something, find a bunch of other people who believe in the same thing, join together and you can make anything happen! And I know she’s right.

One of the main reasons I accepted my job at Genzyme was because I was told repeatedly by all the people who interviewed me that I could make a difference in the lives of people with rare diseases. And that has proven true, especially as I got more and more involved in the Genzyme Running Team (GRT) and helping to engage employees, create patient partnerships and raise funds for NORD (the National Organization for Rare Disorders). The Running for Rare Diseases Genzyme Boston Marathon Team – a small subset of the GRT – is such a prime example of what Leymah is talking about: the relationships they are building, the increased awareness of rare diseases like Niemann-Pick Type A, Homocystinuria, and Pompe, and the funds they are raising – none of this could be accomplished by one person alone. It is because we are all joined together for the common purpose that we can make a difference.

Today I am going to be joined with another group, to try to exploit our collective power in another way: to prevent a killer from leaving prison. On May 31, 1993, Scott was murdered when he tried to stop two men from robbing the Walpole McDonalds, where he was working. Today, because of a deal he cut, the one who actually pulled the trigger is eligible for parole. I will be in court with my best friend Tina – Scott’s Irish twin – and her family to do everything we can to prevent him from returning to the streets and taking more lives. Tina has gathered many written testimonies and signed letters protesting his release, and several of us will be there to read as many as we’re allowed, to make it clear that it was not just any life taken that day: it was Scott Christopher Down, loving brother, son, friend. A hysterical, determined, unique blonde boy with the most incredible sparkle in his eye. He was always determined to help change the world for the better. Don’t worry, Scott, you live on in Tina, Jason, their incredible children, your parents, friends and all of us. We will not let you down. xoxoxo

Scott Christopher Down

Scott Christopher Down

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“Why, why, whhhhhyyyyy???” I woke up whining. And I hate whining. But it’s also very cold and I hate the cold. And while I love that running lets me eat and helps me not get huge, I don’t love running. (Sorry Phil.) And have I mentioned that I am not a morning person? I thought so. Yet here it is, Thanksgiving morning, when really I don’t need to be anywhere before noon, and what am I doing? Getting up. Early. To run. In the cold. Why? Because this year I can.

I never think of the weather when I sign up for these 5ks. I think of the cause (in this case Multiple Sclerosis – it’s the Boston Volvo Village 5k Road Race for MS) or the other people running (some of my Genzyme Running Team peeps) or the great people watching (people dressed up like turkeys, pilgrims, Indians and I’m sure there will be at least a few Santas).

I did, however, start to think about the weather yesterday, when I heard how incredibly cold today was predicted to be. Andrew asked where and when to meet, and I told him I’d be there if it was above 30 and not raining or wicked windy – I can’t afford to get sick with surgery less than two weeks away. Then, last night when I was snuggled warm in bed, and was thinking how crazy it is to be out in the cold period, I texted Tara.

Me: Remind me there’s no excuse not to run in the morning. I won’t get sick and it doesn’t matter that I haven’t run in two weeks or how slow I am.

Tara: Slow and steady! Something is not just better than nothing, it’s an investment in you. I’m running/walking a turkey trot in the morning. You’ll feel better for doing it.

And I know, as usual, she’s right.

So I woke up and rolled over to check the weather, figuring above 30 and I’m good, since the beams of light shining into my room already told me it’s not raining. And what does the weather say? 30 – and then “feels like 19” – ugh! I could’ve texted Andrew, told him I didn’t want to risk getting sick (which is seriously the big fear in the back of my mind, but also an excuse), but I didn’t. Because then I started thinking about last Thanksgiving.

Last Thanksgiving I couldn’t run, regardless of the weather. Thanksgiving week 2012 I finished my 24th week of chemo. It was the last, but my body ached more than ever, I had tons of numbness and tingling in my fingers and feet, and the lymphedema had just started. And I had radiation still ahead of me. Oh, and I was bald. No eyebrows, no eyelashes and no hair on my head. Running was the last thing on my mind – I was just thankful I could get up in the morning!

So today I am running. Because I can. Because God is good and has given me a great life, and a second chance, and I don’t want to waste it. 2013 may not have been the easiest or best year, but it’s been a hell of a lot better than 2012. I am so thankful for all my family, friends, and work buddies who have stuck by me, encouraged me and even pushed me when needed. And I am thankful for the new people in my life, including someone who makes me smile every day, even when he’s not in the same state! I have incredible hope and confidence that as great as things are now, they are going to keep getting better. And for all that I am beyond thankful.

Andrew just texted.

Andrew: Running?

Me: Yup. Will be there shortly.

So I better stop typing and go freeze, I mean run. 😉 Happy Thanksgiving all! Xo

Post run update: Yup. I ran. And froze. But it was worth it!

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“All you can change is yourself, but sometimes that changes everything.” – Anonymous

The past two weeks I’ve been beat up, beat down, sucked in, worn out, and had more extreme highs and lows than a rollercoaster  – definitely felt the whiplash. Worst of all, it did such a job on my self-worth that I didn’t even feel like or recognize myself. I felt helpless and lost. (And dumb and unattractive and naïve and…) And I just went with all of it. Let it happen. I was at the mercy of the people and circumstances around me. And I was seriously worried that I’d never be me again – I didn’t know how to get the strong, independent, positive woman back.

“Time heals what reason cannot.” – Anonymous

I know it was not a very long time (although it felt like years) but somehow, I’ve snapped back. I feel like me again. I don’t know if it was time, telling my story (see below), the tattoo (also below), the Red Sox going to the World Series (woo hoo!!!) or what, but somehow this morning I woke up for the first time like “I’ve got this.” I can take my life back. And I’m going to.

“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” -Harley Davidson

I love that quote! It’s so true. Take control. Be you. Don’t let anyone else dictate your happiness, make you feel like you’re not good enough or think that there is anything you can’t do. (And don’t ever try to ‘fix’ someone else’s life – especially if they don’t want to be helped.) I used to know (and live by) that, and now I’m going to again. To be honest, I’m a little ticked off that this happened during the month of pink, when there were so many events with such great people, but then again, maybe it was keeping busy and doing all the events and seeing everyone that helped me snap back so quickly?

This has been a whirlwind of a Breast Cancer month:

  • Started at the end of September with the Komen walk, followed by the incredible Runway for Recovery event, and then the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides for Breast Cancer walk – all of which I already blogged about.
  • Last weekend the fun continued in Providence at the Gloria Gemma Flames of Hope run/walk. Alicia pulled together a team, including her fellow Rhode Island Charity pageant queens, their families and my friend Abby. In addition to all of us walking in the 5k, Alicia even ran the Pink Pump Palooza 50 yard dash in heels!
  • Friday mom joined me for Dana-Farber’s Breast Cancer in Young Women Forum. Because of how I’ve been feeling, I couldn’t even focus or make myself really think through what I was going to say until that morning. I’ve been in such a fog, I really didn’t want to do anything except what I had to. Luckily, I knew I had to do this, so that morning, mom and I left early, went to Dunkin Donuts and thought for a few minutes over tea. Then I told her, “Ok, I’ve got it. The most important thing is to have 1-3 main points. Here’s mine: You’ll hear lots of stories today – that’s the best part of days like today. But the most important thing to remember is it’s all about you. Everyone is different. Some things work for one person, but not another. You are unique: do what’s right for you.” And then, thinking through my story and all that happened since March 2012, I came to my second point: “It doesn’t matter if you’re married, single, have children or live alone – surround yourself with people who love you, who make you happy. That’s what got me through – all the incredibly loving and supportive people I’m so lucky to have in my life. And let them help you – it will help them through it, too.” (See, Tina, I do listen sometimes…) And the talk – and the day – went well… and I started to feel a little more like me…

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  • Friday night, while not breast cancer-related, I went to Salem with friends from our running team, to experience some of the haunted happenings. I know that just spending time with these friends who inspire me with their marathon runs and overall kindness and determination in life helped me feel more like me again…

halloween

  • And finally, Saturday night was one of my favorite nights of the year: the Nashua Harley-Davidson Fashion Show and Live Auction Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Benefit. As you’ll see in the pictures below, Nick, Alicia, Vic and I all had a blast! Robin Dixon, of Nashua Harley-Davidson, is such an amazing supporter of the American Cancer Society and makes the event even bigger and better each year! In addition to winning things in the raffle and auction (and losing a few things like my TV, darn it!), we had fun with people asking to wear Alicia’s crown, the great food and… my first tattoo! Not only did I do one, but Nick also got a pink ribbon – his with wings…

So I’m not sure what actually did it, but somehow, thank God, I am me again. I love my life, am so blessed by all the fabulous people in it, and I will not let myself get lost so easily ever again.

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